I am a reader. So it is no shock that I immediately found myself on the hunt for books to comfort my heart after I lost Jake. In fact, the same day I learned he was already in heaven, I lied in bed all night reading an entire book with my breathless Jake still in my belly. In those moments little comfort came, even from other books by bereaved Mama’s themselves. They seemed so “healed” to me. I did not want to feel healed. I was nowhere close to feeling ready for opening my heart to healing. My baby was dead. Inside of me. And I didn’t even want to let him go despite knowing that. I carried him for five more days until my husband could return from overseas to be present for his birth. And I cherished every moment of it.
The most beautiful book in the world was published a few months later by another Mama who lost her baby. Angela Miller’s, “You are the Mother of all Mothers.” Deep inside my lonely heart I wanted someone, anyone in the world to see this book and send it to me to assure me that yes, I am the “Mother of all Mothers.” But I was way too impatient. I needed this book, well before I could wait for someone to get it for me. So I decided I would buy it or myself. And it is one of the best gifts I have ever given myself. I am convinced God wanted me to buy this for myself, to help me realize on my own that I was and am a damn good Mother.
When I received this gem, I sat on my coach covered in a soft blanket with a big cup of chamomile tea and a box of tissues handy. With the turn of each page it felt like another piece of my heart unfolded. Someone out there knew EXACTLY how I felt. How could she? She could-because she too is a “Mother of all Mothers“.
This book will tear down the walls of a broken-hearted mother. It will leave her in tears, make her laugh and even smile. It will make her feel strong as she turns each page. It will make her feel less alone in her grief, in this world. It will help her realize all of the things it could take years to realize without it. It’s simply beautiful. It leaves me a little more whole each time I read it.
“Instead, breathe in this truth with every part of yourself: You are the best damn mother in the entire world.
No one else could do what you do. No one else could ever mother your child as well as you can, as well as you are. No one else could let your child’s love and light shine through the way you do. No one else could mother your dead child as bravely. No one else could carry this unrelenting burden as courageously. It is the heaviest, most torturous burden there is.
There is no one, no one, no one who could ever, ever replace you. No one. You were chosen to be your child’s mother. Yes—chosen. And no one could parent your child better in life or in death than you do. You have within you a sacred strength.
You are the mother of all mothers.
So breathe, mama, keep breathing. Believe, mama, keep believing. Fight, mama, keep fighting for this truth to uproot the lies in your heart—you didn’t fail. Not even a little.
For even in death, you lovingly mother your precious child still.”
Excerpt from You Are the Mother of All Mothers by Angela Miller. Copyright © 2014 by Angela Miller. Excerpt by permission of Wise Ink Publishing. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Bereaved Mama’s…treat yourself to this beautiful book. Friends and family of bereaved Mama’s, be that person I needed. Be the person to reassure your loved one that they too are “The Mother of All Mothers.” It is the perfect gift, no special occasion needed.
Click here to order this amazing book.